well

it's not like anyone reads this bc i dont often write, but i just thought i'd attempt to make some public declaration that.....
there's been a baby in my belly for 17 weeks.
my boyfriend Alika made half of it and we're excited.
home visiting now, back in HI on Wednesday, back to da farm we are growing n refining on Alika's ancient family land.
He's Hawaiian and I love him and we're just taking things one day @ a time.
i haven't appealed to the public in so long, i really have no idea what to say.
a trillion things going through my head.
these are da ones i decided to say, but u know, words are words and they really don't stay.
if you ever read this or would like to see me, come to our farm to play.
have a good day
-love emilay

sammmmmm-ITCH

Today I made dis beautiful salade- i spend 2 hours dicing broccoli, cauliflower, purple onion, green onion, celery, apple, a liiiiitle salmon, carrot, sprouts, cucumber, yellow, green, and orange pepper, cherry tomato, sesame seeds, and pine nuts. it was deeelish- i ate it in an 'amitch with red pepper hummus. tomorrow ima add cayenne pepper, avocado, and perhaps spread veganaise instead o hummus on da bread. ima make this a million times in da future wif different seasonsings except wif da FOOD PROCESSOR! i love livin foods. ill ex-nay da bread eventually too, try it wif curry flavor etc......
ya baby
i went to da family reunion today even though my closest relative was a 4th cousin, but I asked my dad and aunt about my grandma Trudy and grandpa Arthur, who I knew practically nothing about. Here's how i think they relate to me:(Aunt Christine had an overabundance of praise for her and dad had good stuff about Arthur)- Grandma Trudy loved learning/education: so much that she went to Cambridge when she was in her 80s and to set an example for us, she loved to write, was stunningly beautiful and athletic: swam the English Channel, left home @ 18 to flee Nazi Germany, took amazing care of her body, admired all beauty, .....more later
Gpa Arthur: was very intelligent, always made good $, both were great drawers, had a mind of his own, saw my grandma @ a cafe in London and decided that moment he'd have her, dry sense of humor (sneak ahead on bike then hide and follow Trudy while she tried madly to catch up, tug on her coat while she was trying to ride etc etc),
thats all i remember.....
ima get a plan, organize, and gogogo for everything good and love and live in dis world. Love, em

idea 2: judgement day, ima make mo betta things

You must always remember dat at any moment all your material possessions could be taken away from you
and all u have left is your time n your soul n body, which might die too, and all u learned and done n all u can do
the mountains n natural disaster weather motivate me
a house is a false sense of security.....it's really just comfort n convenience while u get on wit yo work/love/play/life
i know that when I stand before God at that great judgment day
i be accountable for what i did every moment wit wat i had n all i'll have is my soul made up of everything i ever do n think n say

H2o

She never wants to blog because she wants to express her ideas in song
so she just keeps writing to herself never re-reading
and each notebook is more important than the last
so for a week she try only to write to da publics
try find da right lil birdies to feed her tasty grublets
she's locked in the marrow of a tree
too many suitcases for any plane
too heavy to fly
so many ideas in her body make her cry
her time and your time are worth $1,000,000 an hour
long dey keepa prayin stay plugged in to da power
will she be secure if gives it all to the web?
for now, hopefully it doesn't burn or get lost
meanwhile she find da time n medium worth da cost
wouldn't it be nice to be jack frost?

Feathers day, truth

8am put on what i thought was a mild humble church outfit, after yesterday's....experience.....
reduced me wardrobe to about 40 pieces, including leggings.
wanna only spend 2 seconds gettin ready n packin n stuffs fo da rest o mah life....
n all da close i was so sentimentally attached to cuz...so n so gave em to me etc.....im makin into a quilt
tried to keep simple clohes
let go of my peacock flashy dressings
neway, thought i was simple as can be in my 70's floral print gown, plaid shirt over....but still felt a lil like a highlighter in my pew
good intentions as usual
ne....churchy church, twas nice. Learned about Jesus Christ and why he was da only one who could atone for us, n what he did....
biked to Ponds at Punaluu old folks home, ran into awesome Percy da Maori,
and da reason i went there....Tutu Ali......
she is 92-93 depending on da moment
ne ways, never thought i would be embarrassed around/by folks over 80, but....
Percy was playing the guitar and playin some old classics for them they loved, were singing along to....
and.....Percy asked me to play a couple songs on da guitar
anyway, sweet old Ali, who cried to me to not forget her and return to visit her, and adopted me as her daughter, says, 1/2way through my first song, which obviously is not a hit based on the complete solemn bemused faces of my elderly audience, "hey, we can here to listen to HIM play".....
sweet ole Percy then turned to me after my shameful Redemption Song and said, "good! you should come here every week!"....and everyone began to sing and light up as Percy played again
I then decided I want to know how to play for every generation and I felt embarrassed I didn't know songs that would please them.
da end

dis is part o me now...dis here blogzarfemog

i haf meeeny meeeny dayz to keetchup. but i willz.
awoke.
ate pb@honey beagle, da comfort stuffs
Uncle D shared w/ me pics n stories of my ancestors up to 5 G's back
Aunt Bonnie took me to a shop in Claremont called Vintage Soul n I gaz an disfunctional wrist watch, n a red fleece pj onsie w/ da footies...n an elephant on it...$7
me friend Luke show me dis cool vids:
http://pitchfork.com/tv/#/musicvideo/6865-yawn-kind-of-guy-self-released
n ima learn dis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jg4ekLG9Zo
on geetar

thought:
i like everythin public especially: metro, bus, library......
ima open a vintage appt. house/commune n we have thrift sto on da bottoms n all work our specialties outta da building: carpenter, mechanic, guitar teacha etc.
u gotsa gratitude/appreciate everythin u gots (need only jus enuf) so u can accomplish all u are capable of....n live as intense as James Bond (to yo master)
so i try ta give away everythin i no need n only eats wat i hungry fo etc.
concentrated everything
all recycled no take take mo from da earth plz (or geef bak wat u take asap)=self-sufficient
satisfaction n pleasure r not joy (which is y wen ppl do da not-true kine...drugs, greed, gluttony (overabundance), etc. they no have joy n peace
i wanza walk/see in da eyes/shoes of eeeveryone
n b humble
likes sports in b/w everythin for pump up: tricks on silks, roll/glide on boards, climb trees, dance etc.
inconsistencies? tell me




6/15
gettin Vada's package ready fo tuuuurkeeey=blue ankle riding boots, pics, cds, gum, dino tall tee, ovular retro blue raybans+ surprises
biked Fontana to Claremont on Costco Schwinn cruiser.....bikin is da best transport 'cept i will learn to fly planes
stopped Goodwill bookstore, bought The Hidden Messages in Water and Time 75 Years....
jumped in algeaic pool w/ Mykey Migdat, went to American Way Thrift, bought cassette walkman since lost iPod + blugrass cassettes n othas
hiked....some 1000 ft. w/ Mykey n friendses slightly dazed n confused
watched Crocodile Dundee VHS
read Tiff's blog n found dis: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

thought:
i wanna b a disciple of everythin gut
laziness kills n sucks n i hate it

unpardonable sin

the nature of the awful sin against the Holy Ghost, against which the Lord warned the Pharisaic accusers who sought to ascribe His divine power to Satan, is more fully explained, and its dread results are more explicitly set forth in modern revelation. Concerning them and their dreadful fate, the Almighty has said;-"I say that it had been better for them never to have been born, for they are vessels of wrath, doomed to suffer the wrath of God, with the devil and his angels in eternity' concerning whom I have said there is no forgiveness in this world nor in the world to come...They shall go away into everlasting punishment, which is endless punishment, which is eternal punishment, to reign with the devil and his angels in eternity, where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched, which is their torment; and the end thereof, neither the place thereof, nor their torment, no man knows, neither was it revealed, neither is, neither will be revealed unto man, except to them who are made partakers thereof; nevertheless I, the Lord, show it by vision unto many, but straightway shut it up again; wherefore the end, the width, the height, the depth, and the misery thereof, they understand not, neither any man except them who are ordained unto this condemnation."